Engaging Today’s Prodigal
Clear Thinking, New Approaches, and Reasons for Hope
Many families today experience the profound guilt and shame filled pain of seeing a child walk away from their faith and values. Churches and parents feel powerless to change the relationship and engage the prodigal in positive ways. Carol Barnier has the insight to help in Engaging Today’s Prodigal. She left the faith of her pastor father, became an active atheist, debated Christians, and explored a variety of worldviews before she found the truth in a relationship with Jesus.
But far more than her personal story, Engaging Today’s Prodigal equips readers with a better understanding of a prodigal’s motivation, useful responses that won’t prevent reconciliation, clear boundaries to protect themselves and other children, actions to take when you know you have contributed to the problem, and the value of realistic expectations. With effective wit and humor, Carol provides material relevant for churches, parents and even the prodigals themselves.
Can your family or church interact with a prodigal in ways that build a relationship bridge that can provide a way back home when they are ready? Let Engaging Today’s Prodigal equip you with clear, specific actions that can overcome the shame, hurt, and loss to bring real hope for the future.
Adult children who make poor life choices
This has been a reality since the garden of Eden. How do parents combat the fear, the guilt, and the shame caused when a son or daughter steps away from the plan God created for them? Their pain is fresh, real, and often . . . raw. So many families need ideas on what to do differently . . . what to do now that might change the cycle of angry words, bitter pronouncements, resentment, rejection, and regret that has played itself out yet again. But they need more than mere platitudes or “happy talk.” They need real, practical hope.
Former prodigal Carol Barnier takes you through lessons that she has learned firsthand. She discusses the myths you might be buying into, looks at a list of dos and don’ts that will serve to positively change the unproductive relationship patterns you may have fallen into, and offers some resources and helps, including what the church can do to assist rather than keep the issue hidden in the shadows.
Too many people need a better understanding of prodigals and ideas to develop and maintain a connection with them. A connection that will, perhaps one day, be a bridge home. Take specific actions that make a difference, overcome the shame, hurt, and loss and bring real hope for the future! This book may be the first step to “change the dance” between you and the prodigal you love.
“Carol’s analysis is insightful, her grasp of reality is true, her suggestions are so practical. The book is filled with love and truth, with help and hope and humor, and with the grace that makes redemption and restoration possible.” – Judy Douglass, author, speaker, Campus Crusade for Christ and Founder of the ministry Prayer for Prodigals
About the Author
Carol Barnier is a humorist and speaker, frequent radio guest and author, Pastor’s kid, Christian. . .and former atheist. These days she admits she takes her God, her faith and her theology very seriously, but herself, not so much. To every task she brings along her rowdy sense of humor. Whether Carol is tackling the issues of being very ADHD, the discomfort at being asked to be the older woman in a Titus program (after all, Titus rhymes with phlebitis–proceed with caution), or how to love today’s “woman at the well”, she spares no one.
But in this effort to bring tools and hope to parents of prodigals, Carol rolls up her sleeves and shares ideas and stories from the heart and from her own journey. In every talk, every article, every interview and every book, it is her objective to not only inspire people, but to give them something they can take home and use immediately. She lives in Connecticut with her husband of over 30 years and their three kids.
Contents
Each chapter of Engaging Today’s Prodigal suggests a myth to be disbelieved in parenting:
Part One: Myths Debunked
Myth 1: Perfect Parenting Makes for Perfect Children
2) It’s My Fault – It Says So in the Bible
3) I Can Rescue Him
4) This Child Just Wants to Push my Buttons
5) If I Can Say the Perfect Thing, My Child Will Finally “Get it”
6) If I Can Let Her Know How Badly She’s Hurting Us, She’ll Stop
7) My Mistakes Will Scar Her Forever
Part Two: Dos and Don’ts
8) Do Advise, Don’t Badger
9) Do Focus on Boundaries, Not on Behavior
10) Do Create a Connecting Place
11) Don’t Start a Sentence with “The Bible Says …”
12) Do Sit Down and Listen
13) Don’t Miss the Courage in Your Prodigal
14) Do Love When Your Prodigal is Most Unlovable
15) Do Create a Support System
16) Do Save Something for Your Non-Prodigals
17) Do Reach Out to Prodigals Who Aren’t Your Own
18) Don’t Pull Out a List of Expectations When Your Prodigal Returns
19) Do Not Lose Yourself During This Trial
Part Three: Hold Out Hope
20) The Long Walk Home – The Rest of my Story
21) God, the Artist
Bonus Section
- Stepping Off that Coattail Faith
- Why Do We Believe That?
- What a Nice Story
- Watch Out for the Ewww Effect
- A Better Look at Mom and Dad
- Whatever Happened to Sin?
- Dismantling the Club
- What Some Other Prodigals Have to Say