I can’t tell you how many times over the years I’ve noticed men not do what would seem necessitated by their roles as husbands and fathers. I’ve seen men park at stores or restaurants, alight from their cars and immediately head for the door, leaving their wives in the dust to corral the children. The man may already be in the store by the time his wife begins walking toward the door with the children. I’ve also seen men lounge on the couch or enjoy uninterrupted chat time with friends while their wives prepare a meal and try to keep general operations under control. Outside of an occasional, “Hey, stop that” from her husband directed to an unruly child, she may have no other help, other than that which she specifically requests.

I don’t know why those incidents have stood out to me more than anything else, but it breaks my heart. I don’t know why men behave like that — perhaps they’re in a hurry, or maybe they just aren’t thinking — but, whatever the reason, I wonder — is it a trial to wait or work? Is it a drag to help your family? I want to challenge any man who is married, who will be married, or who has sisters or younger siblings or anyone in his life who need his help: slow down and be a real man. There’s more to life than success, your hobbies, and your buddies. There are God, family, and things of eternal importance.

I’m grateful for a Dad who stays behind, helps his children, holds his wife’s hand, and does as much to help around the house when he’s home as my Mom does. In fact, he has told Mom to go take a nap or do something enjoyable while he cleans the kitchen or watches the younger ones.

Men, be like Christ: attentive, thoughtful, caring, and loving. Think of what He has done for his church: throughout the millennia, He has faithfully loved His bride and provided for her every need. He has walked hand-in-hand with us, guiding, sustaining, and cherishing us, as the old hymn says, no matter how great or small our trial. Be like Christ. Man up. Stay behind. Hold your wife’s hand. Do the work for her; you’re not above it, and, in fact, you’re called to it. Never fall prey to the notion that housework and looking after the children are your wife’s responsibilities. You are the man; show your family that godly love works. Show them that you will not only protect them, but will walk with them in even the most insignificant or menial situations. As someone who’s been blessed to watch the positive impact that such gestures can have, I can attest that such actions will be a profound blessing to your wife and your children. Eternity will tell how much they appreciate it.

– Benjamin Bender